Give Yourself Permission

Danbo conoce a Domo - Danbo meets Domo by GViciano

One of the truisms I've learned through my time studying acting (and studying life) is that you're the only person who can give yourself permission. Whatever it is that's holding you back or down, it's you that has the power to overcome that.

I re-learned this just a few days ago when Sonya and I were performing our Chekhov scene in class. We were doing the Natasha/Olga scene from Three Sisters and I was playing Natasha, who gets very upset at Olga.  The scene was going great, but I could tell that the depth of emotion wasn't quite as deep as it could be.

I had been afraid, going into the scene, that everyone watching the scene would think that my character was the bad guy. I knew that there must be some kernel of good in her that causes her to behave so nastily towards her sister-in-law, so I was constantly trying to find ways to show that she wasn't just a cold-hearted bitch. Then I realized that I still thought of her as the bad guy, so I was trying to play against that, rather than allowing myself to be her, whoever she is, and experience the events of the scene.

Once I gave myself permission to really enjoy getting back at Olga for all the shit she's put me through, the scene really took off.

It's so hard because I love Sonya dearly, and didn't want to be mean to her, but sometimes we have to separate what we want to be like as people in the world from what our characters have to do. Once I allowed myself to "go there," it was actually easier to separate the two. I was able to really commit to what I was doing onstage, which made me sure that my classmates would know the difference between that person and me.

This is just one small instance of this truism, but there are many others that I've found.

Give Yourself Permission

• to get angry
• to "go there"
• to be wrong
• to look like an ass
• to not like your teacher
• to try something new
• to hope
• to be scared
• to relax
• to be a person and an actor
• to treat yourself
• to take care of yourself
• to say no
• to say yes
• to use a picture for a blog post that has nothing to do with the blog (although, now that I think of it, he is an angry little monster, isn't he?)

A lot of these have stories behind them, as I'm sure you can tell, but those are other stories for another time.