When is Self-Help no longer Helpful?

On the platform, reading by moriza

I really love reading. It's one of my favorite things ever. I've been known to read at the dinner table, in math class (sitting in the front row, no less), while watching a movie (probably doesn't count as watching anymore - while listening to a movie), and even while walking (one of my earliest goals in life was to be Belle in Beauty & the Beast).

So, I have a lot of books, but only in a few distinct categories: General Fiction (most of my books), Plays, books about Acting or Theater that aren't Plays, Music Books and books about Music, and a small but well-worn collection of Touchy-Feely books.

Now, what I'm calling Touchy-Feely books are those that tend towards the philosophical "how to live your life & enjoy it" thing. Almost all of these have been given to me over the course of my life, and each of them has helped me in a time of need.

I've found that there will be one lesson in a book that will speak to me, just when I need it, and when I start following the advice/rule/philosophy/lesson, everything in my life seems to simplify itself again.

HOWEVER

Sometimes, when I'm feeling down, or stressed, or whatever it is that's not calm and happy, I think "Hey, I'll feel better if I read one of these books!"

Dual-head-mounted-listening-device by x-ray delta one
(I should get one of these)

But then one book turns into three or four. Before I know it, I'm trying to apply not one lesson, but every lesson to my life. Then I remember that I have a set of blogs that I know of that also have hundreds of lessons for me to learn and apply. If I could only live every second of my life the way that these books and blogs are telling me, then I'd feel better, right? RIGHT?

And I always get to a certain point in my self-help binge when I realize that I need to put down the self-help books and listen to myself.


I was feeling bad. Maybe I still am. How about I stop looking for the answers from someone else and ask myself what's wrong? Cause only then can I really begin to feel better.


I need to figure out what I'm feeling, so that I can figure out why I'm feeling that way, so I can figure out how to change or accept things and move on.


I think my self-help addiction comes from one of my favorite little monsters - perfectionism. All of these touchy-feely authors are telling me how to attain perfection, so if I just do what they say then I can be perfect, right? Nope. Perfect doesn't exist. Happy does.

During Week 4 of The Artist's Way, one of your tasks is to NOT READ. This, as I'm sure you can surmise, was extremely hard for me, but it really forces you to be present with yourself. My self-help marathons may be me escaping from my feelings, but suddenly I'm starting to question if reading might be, too.

Messy Artwork by Robert Conrad Photography

Reading deprivation forced me to learn that I don't have to escape into someone else's imagination every time things get hard. Sure, sometimes it's helpful to give yourself a little break before you get down to business, but life is about balance. 

I'm starting to figure out that I don't need to cling to books, be they Touchy-Feely or otherwise, in order to survive life. In fact, sometimes making the active choice to not cling may bring me closer to living my own life, enjoying my own imagination, and being present with the world.

Wow. With all that Touchy-Feely, Self-Helpy stuff that I just wrote, I have to acknowledge that there is some extreme irony in sharing my realization in such a "here's life lesson for YOU" way. Here's a real piece of advice: try not to make my mistake. Don't listen to me. Listen to you.

Maybe now I can get onto being creative and making some sh*t.